In Every Step

You know, I wake up most every morning expecting not to know what I am doing with my life. For some reason, in the past few days, I feel like my life is suddenly starting to come together and make sense. Maybe this is because I have been devoting way more of my energy into being with the Lord and I always find that that clears the fog of confusion and uncertainty from my mind. In the past I have been angry with God: "Lord, where were you all my life? Did you even care about me? Why can't I look back and see you with me?" And all of a sudden, I see those fingerprints so vividly in my life. One small example of this is how I am going through all of this education stuff to be a teacher. That has always been something that was just kind of like...yeah, I can do this. It's kind of cool. Then, I remembered how when I was little I always dreamed of being a teacher. I remembered how I would subject all my friends to spelling bees and I would "mark" math tests and put little gold stars that my mom bought me on their work. I remember how I used to actually buy those books that teachers would use for photocopying exercises out of and I would just go through and do the assignments and mark them for myself, putting comments on my work.

Then, in high school in grade nine my math teacher asked the class to consider whether they wanted to take general or advanced classes. I chose general (never expecting to be the "University" type) and she took me aside and strongly urged me to take advanced classes. Had she not done this, I would not have been able to go to University. Later, I wound up taking co-op because I wanted to get out of class in the afternoon. I started off being a directors assistant and that didn't work so I was transported to a kindergarten classroom. I fell in love with that class. Then the following year I somehow wound up in a grade 4 classroom. I loved that too. Now, as I am considering teacher's college in Nova Scotia I find a school that is, first of all, beautiful and second of all, requires a liberal arts degree for entry and not just that but mostly Social Studies courses (which is my major) and I was worried that Social Studies would not even be considered a teachable. And they have a special Graduate program in Leadership and Counselling which is something that has always been in the back of my mind.

The thing is that I am amazed at how even when I was not a Christian, I can see now that God was walking beside me and orchestrating every detail of my life. I feel a peace washing over me that I am doing exactly what God is calling me to and I see it all coming together. He truly is concerned for every step we take and does not let us go astray when we trust and sometimes even when we don't; that is a great comfort, don't you think?